Phoenix Wright RP Game - CASE ONE - Balls to the Wall

((Sigh, I guess I'll play this guy too.))

A clearly sunbaked life guard, wearing only his red swimming trunks and caring a red kick broad enters the court room. He has a white strip of sunscreen on his nose. He runs in slooow motion to the witness stand. He sits on top of the witness stand and starts scanning the court room with his hand over his eyes, occasionally using his binoculars. He's clearly not very bright.

"Would you state you name for the court record?"

"Well... I dunno abou tha't. I cann'er think o why you need it. I'm Joe Bob Higgins but ever'y one call me Yo Bob! Like they're trying to git my attention er somthin."

".... that will do. Would you tell the court what you witnessed at the beach?"

"Surrrre will, you might purdy ma'm"

*Uses whip* "I'll have none of that. Now give your testimony!"

1. Owww! Well, ya see I saw that man at the beach a little while ago.
2. I wouldna remmeber'd it, but I knew him cause he was famous from somewhere.
3. I saw him and his friend swimmin but his other friend was havin some problems
4. He stopp'd movin, so I started runnin to them to see if any-thing was wrong.
5. They was a bit far away, so it took me a while to git ov'er thar.
6. By the time I git thar, that fellow ov'r thar (points to the witness) looked to be reviving the other man.
7. I check to see if both them were alright, cause he had come to, and then I went back to my post aft'r I got their autographs.

Evidence: Autograph paper
Type: Paper
Given by: Joe Bob
The paper has Brian and Ted's name clearly written on it.
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Spoiler:

"I gave you lots of time to prepare defense. Please cross examine your witness. If you continue to try my patience, I will give you a major penalty."
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Spoiler:

(I could've sworn I posted...)

"Hrm it does seem odd that the defendant would save his rival's life only to take it later. Do you have any theories as to why that might be?"

1. Pete, the rabid tennis fan from earlier, killed Brian out of jealousy.
2. The woman standing with Brian and Ted at the tennis court killed Brian because she suspected an affair with Ted.
3. The life guard actually killed Brian.
4. The guard Bill Cambel (who we have not yet spoken to) killed the other guard as well as Brian.
5. Brian killed himself... after he killed the guard.
6. I'm not sure, but this event proves my client is innocent.

((Remember, to make an accusation, you need at least one piece of proof to show to the court, though two might be better in some instances. It can be a piece of evidence we've already seen or the investigator can barge in and give you something. If need be, I guess I can come up with something, but only as a last minute resort. Try to work with what you have.))
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Spoiler:

"I'm not sure, but this event proves my client is innocent."

"Well, I have to agree. It would make no sense further examine this case. Your client will be cleared of all charges and we will find out the real killer after the police have had more time to investigate. This ends your first case."

Bangs Gavel.

Ted is found:
NOT GUILTY

((This ends case one. Jack A T or r1nn, if you see this, please lock the thread.))
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Spoiler: