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| | Another fic that makes fun of Dominic Deegan to be ironic. |    |
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Nevrmore
Joined : 21 Apr 2007
Posts : 411
|  Subject: Another fic that makes fun of Dominic Deegan to be ironic.  Sun May 20, 2007 9:16 pm | |
| | So Dominic was doing stuff, right? And Luna was all like "I have low self-esteem and Serk Brakkis permanently destroyed my ability to have any sort of sexual relationship do you want to see my boobies?" before they both had sex and Gregory was like "Bloody hell!" and Spark wasn't in the comic and Miranda was all "WHO WILL BE THE NEXT HEADMASTER?!?!?!" and Dominic's Dad was having some sort of mid-life crisis or something and Stunt and Bumper were developing a serious case of the blue balls about one another and the orcs were all dying hopefully and the three dudes who Dominic is supposed to be watching are killing thousands while he fucks his disgusting mutant girlfriend who is showing him her boobies if you'll recall when suddenly a pimp comes and pimpslaps every single one of them and smacks Dominic right on the ass because he's also gay did I mention this was a slash fic oh well too bad so Gregory starts anally-raping Spark while Luna and Miranda have disturbing lesbian sex and Milov penetrates Siegfried's corpse and Jayden lays naked seductively with her boobs all diagonal and missing a leg and the chick from Snowsong is there but no one wants her pancake ass but anyway the orcs all get raped big surprise right but anyway all the rest of the characters have gay sex too before the pimp gets up and shoots all of them because he's just that cool but not before my new character who is actually me in comic form named Tranny Dan comes and battles the pimp which involves, you guessed it, a fair amount of gay sex before Tranny Dan eventually kills the pimp and then has sex with everyone's corpse the end. |
|  | | Gilgamesh
Age : 20
Joined : 09 Apr 2007
Posts : 5754
Location : Australia
| | Subject: Re: Another fic that makes fun of Dominic Deegan to be ironic. Sun May 20, 2007 9:36 pm | |
| Tranny Dan name is a pretty bad name in my opinion. I think you would be better off with Nevrmore.
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| | | | Nevrmore
Joined : 21 Apr 2007
Posts : 411
| | Subject: Re: Another fic that makes fun of Dominic Deegan to be ironic. Sun May 20, 2007 9:42 pm | |
| | Well, in all actuality, I took Tranny Dan from the name of the hero of the fourth installment in a series of movies I'm writing called the Vagina-Mouth series. I thought it fit well here. |
| | | | Gilgamesh
Age : 20
Joined : 09 Apr 2007
Posts : 5754
Location : Australia
| | Subject: Re: Another fic that makes fun of Dominic Deegan to be ironic. Sun May 20, 2007 9:45 pm | |
| | Nevrmore wrote: | | Well, in all actuality, I took Tranny Dan from the name of the hero of the fourth installment in a series of movies I'm writing called the Vagina-Mouth series. I thought it fit well here. |
Vagina-Mouth eh? Sounds... interesting.
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| | | | Nevrmore
Joined : 21 Apr 2007
Posts : 411
| | Subject: Re: Another fic that makes fun of Dominic Deegan to be ironic. Sun May 20, 2007 9:55 pm | |
| That sounds like the perfect opportunity for a shameless plug.
| Spoiler: | | | 1. Vagina-Mouth
A local, well-known streetwhore named Tats Gumlips comes down with a debilitating disease, worse than cancer. Everything she has tried so far to stunt it hasn't worked. Her health is fine, but her business is doing extremely poorly because no one wants to have sex with a sickly person. So, finally, she decides as a last-ditch effort to go see if radiation therapy will cure her.
However, at the radiologist's office, she starts getting the vapors. Since the resident doctor was the only male specimen around, she ripped off her clothes and started having sex with him right in the lab. Unfortunately, in the throes of coitus, the doctor hits the lever that turns on the radiation gun and also sets it hundreds of times higher than it was ever meant to be. The blast killed the doctor instantly, but Tats' unique disease not only saved her; It horribly mutated her. Her vagina morphed into a horrible beast with barbed teeth, a mind of its own, and an insatiable hunger for penises that Tat's, AKA Vagina-Mouth, could only comply to. She begins a pattern of seducing men to her then, just as she orgasms, biting off and swallowing their penises in her horrible Vagina-Mouth before killing them.
Aaron is a man who is hopelessly in love with Tats, but the most committment she could ever give was fucking a man and leaving him, so his feelings were unrequited. When he heard that it was she who turned into the horrible Vagina-Mouth, he vowed to use all of his knowledge to try and find a cure for her, hoping that it will prove his devotion and love to her.
Meanwhile, Vagina-Mouth has left a trail of blood and destruction through the country, finally reaching Washington D.C. where she has sex with the General of the Armed Forces. After devouring his penis, however, he manages to escape before she can kill him. Angered, the General calls for a nuke to be dropped on her to ensure her death (She has been shown impervious to conventional weaponry beforehand). Aaron won't have this and gets into a rigorous fight (verbal and physical) with the General over it. The General finally agrees that, if Aaron can cure Vagina-Mouth, he won't drop the nuke on her.
Aaron encounters VM in a small house where she has just claimed an anonymous victim. After a long, arduous battle, Aaron manages to inject her with the antidote, seemingly curing her. She is so happy she declares her love for him, and they begin having sex right in the house. Then, to Aaron's horror, he finds out that Vagina-Mouth had actually mutated long ago to be immune to such a cure. Lacking the strength to resist, Vagina-Mouth bites off Aaron's dick, kills him, and runs off into the world.
2. Vagina-Mouth 2: Revenge of Missile-Dick
A few days after the first Vagina-Mouth ended, the General of the army has waged a personal vendetta against Tats. Using his military influence, he has had his severed penis replaced with a large missile-launcher (a tube leading from his ass to the butt of the lancher automatically reloads it), turning into Missile-Dick. Missile-Dick devises a plan to disguise himself and find Vagina-Mouth. Sure to be intrigued by his giant-member (The launcher is so large that a small pole with a wheel attached it must be used to hoist it up), he is hoping Vagina-Mouth will begin having sex with him, at which point he will shoot a missile that will ravage her insides and finally kill her.
After days of searching, he finds Vagina-Mouth near South Carolina. Disguised as a well-to-do businessman whom he calls "Otto von Missiledick", he and Vagina-Mouth start having sex, the latter at first suspecting that she has tricked the former. However, Vagina-Mouth, so accustomed to the taste of the male penis, instantly realizes that Missile-Dick's member is not pure. She spits it out and escapes before he can kill her. Angered, Missile-Dick chases her all over the country, leading them to Washington where they have a final battle on Mount St. Helens.
For a while, it seems like Vagina-Mouth has the advantage and manages to wound Missile-Dick severely. However, when the curtain appears to close on the life of the General, he decides to sacrifice himself to save the world. Shooting a missile at the ground beneath their feet, Missile-Dick plunges himself and Vagina-Mouth into the magma below. It seems like the world is saved but, as the screen fades to black, a hand suddenly emerges from the depths.
In a short scene after the credits, a familiar voice can be heard. It says "That thing is not Tats anymore. If I truly loved her...I would destroy her." as a strange man seemingly clad in silver walks through a door.
3. Vagina-Mouth 3: Rise of Orgasmotron
The familiar voice at the end of the previous movie is revealed to be none other than Aaron, who died at the end of the first Vagina-Mouth. His body was salvaged by military-scientists, fitted with high-tech cybernetic enhancements, and brought back to life. He now strongly resembles a human-sized version fo Ultraman, only completely silver and without the gay fin-thing on his head. His left hand is actually a dish that shoots energy at the exact wave-length to cause violent orgasms. Thus, he is dubbed Orgasmotron. Orgasmotron vows that not only will he kill Vagina-Mouth, but he will he will use his powers to reclaim his penis, lost long ago to Vagina-Mouth when he was originally killed.
Meanwhile, Vagina-Mouth has indeed re-emerged. Her body is now deformed from the magma she was dropped into, no longer looking human. The only unscathed part of her is the insatiable vagina. Seeing that, in her current condition, she cannot seduce men anymore, she instead resorts to attacking random men, eating their penises, and killing them before they can react.
Orgasmotron eventually picks up on her trail of destruction and encounters his once-love. He pleads for her to stop the mindless violence and tries to get her to remember who he is, but it is no use. Tats Gumlips simply no longer exits; All that is now is Vagina-Mouth. Orgasmotron resigns himself to the fact that he has no choice but to destroy her.
The battle ensues, and for awhile it seems like Orgasmotron has the clear advantage; With the use of his Orgy-Ray, he can incapacitate Vagina-Mouth for several seconds, allowing him to injure her before she can recover. As the fight leads on, however, he notices that the ray is having less and less affect each time he uses it. Thinking back to how the cure he had concocted failed to save Vagina-Mouth (from Vagina-Mouth 1), he realizes that she must be continuously mutating, and overuse of his Orgy-Ray will only lead to her eventually becoming immune to it. Begrudgingly, he has to decide to stop using it, lest it become useless. The fight continues.
Raging across the country, the two were relentless in their assault, chasing and fighting, fighting and chasing, eventually ending up in [s]Metropolis[/s] New York City. Orgasmotron was severely beaten in comparison to Vagina-Mouth, since he was barely ale to get any good hits in after he stopped using his ray. However, as they continue to fight, he is struck with inspiration.
Using his Orgy-Ray one last time, Orgasmotron uses the few precious moments he gained and the last of his strength to pull a stop sign from the ground. Charging at Vagina-Mouth and toting the sign like a javelin, Aaron utters a famous line from the movie; “You may be good at fucking, but your blowjobs are shit!”. With that, he flings the sign straight into Vagina-Mouth’s actual mouth, where her throat remains unprotected. The sign skewers her, sending her backwards and pinning her to a wall. As a final indication of his complete victory, Orgasmotron walks over to Vagina-Mouth, wrenches her labia open, thrusts his hand inside, and pulls out his severed penis, fulfilling his promise at the beginning of the film. As he is about to walk off and leave Vagina-Mouth to die, however, the familiar voice of Tats calls out to him. She begs for his help and says that she didn’t have any control over her actions. Overcome by guilt and past love, Aaron kneels down and promises to help her. However, this is all a hoax. Vagina-Mouth grabs a shard of glass and quickly guts Orgasmotron, killing him.
Vagina-Mouth cannot savor her victory, however. Her injuries are too severe; She knew she would die soon. Fortunately, before she succumbed to her wounds, a bulldyke happened across the battlefield. Calling her over, Vagina-Mouth displayed a thus-unseen power; The ability to spread the disease...
4. Land of Vagina-Mouth
A while has passed between the end of Rise of Orgasmotron and the beginning of the fourth installment in the series. The original Vagina-Mouth is dead, but before she died she managed to pass on the monstrous disease, which then got passed on to another woman, and another, and another, until almost every woman in the world was a Vagina-Mouth. Only a fraction of humanity survives. The story focuses on one small fraction of that, a group of humans in the United States who have sought refuge in an underground bunker. However, they realize that it will not be long before the Vagina-Mouths find them.
The leader of the group is Dan. Tranny Dan, to be precise. As if it was serendipity, right as Dan was undergoing the surgery to fully become a woman, a horde of Vagina-Mouths attacked the hospital he was attending. Bandaged completely from head to toe and only half-finished, Dan was forced to escape the hospital and flee. However, this botched surgery came with a great advantage; Since he (who is only called "he" for convenience) is not technically a man, Vagina-Mouths cannot eat his penis, but since he’s also not technically a woman, they cannot convert him into one of them, either. This would be a blessing, but since Tranny Dan sees no point in fighting off a countless number of Vagina-Mouths until he dies, he instead opts to protect the last humans he knows.
However, this all changes one day when they hear a frantic knocking at the bunker doors. A man claims that he has heard of their asylum and desperately begs for entry before the Vagina-Mouths can get a hold of him. Tranny Dan is reluctant. He reasons that if the Vagina-Mouths are already on his trail, it would endanger everyone inside the bunker to open the doors. He seems firm in this decision until the man promises to tell them a way to destroy the Vagina-Mouths once and for all. Intrigued, Tranny Dan opens the door and allows him in.
After a while of recovering and getting to know everyone, the man keeps his promise by telling Tranny Dan the secret to destroying the Vagina-Mouths. According to him, the corpse of the original Vagina-Mouth, Tats Gumlips, was taken when the Vagina-Mouths rose to power and put inside of a mausoleum in the center of the country to serve as a sacred relic, not unlike crosses or Star of David’s. The man says that he heard through the grapevine that if the original corpse were destroyed, it would depower the rest of the Vagina-Mouths. The man says that he would do it himself, but he could barely survive getting from his house two blocks away to the secret bunker. Tranny Dan is skeptical at first, but after various endorsements from the rest of his group, he agrees to venture out and find the original corpse.
The journey is long and arduous. Tranny Dan and his group suffer heavy losses after several fights through the country. By the time they finally reach the mausoleum, only Dan and the man remain. Sneaking inside, they find the corpse of the original Vagina-Mouth perfectly preserved, sitting on a raised altar at the back of the room, surrounding by what appeared to be candles but, upon further inspection, were actually severed penises covered in wax. Tranny Dan approached the altar and, on specific instructions by the man, shoved his hand into the gaping cervix of Vagina-Mouth.
To Tranny Dan’s horror, Vagina-Mouth’s corpse did quite the opposite of being destroyed. In fact, with a loud cackle, Tats Gumlips actually rose, reborn. She explained that, as a monster, she was not allowed into Heaven or Hell. After remaining tied to her corpse for a long time, she discovered that there was one way that she could come back to life; If the pure hand of a man and woman touched her simultaneously. Of course, Tranny Dan fit the bill perfectly.
Tranny Dan turned to the man who had betrayed him as Vagina-Mouths from all sides tore down the mausoleum and surrounded him. The man apologized profusely, telling Tranny Dan that the Vagina-Mouths promised not to kill him if he lured the half-transvestite to the burial ground. Of course, as per usual, the man is then killed immediately after the Vagina-Mouths have no more use for him.
Tranny Dan tries to fight the original Vagina-Mouth (who has ordered the rest of the Vagina-Mouths to stand down), but it is no use. Apparently, the original Vagina-Mouth has accumulated a very large sum of power between her death and rebirth, and is able to smack Tranny Dan around easily. Just as it seems like our hero is about to die and the last hope of the world about to crumble, however, the clacking of golden heels catches everyone’s attention.
Stepping out from the crowd was a tall, lean black man in a purple, pin-striped suit, twirling a golden cane between his fingers. The original Vagina-Mouth gasped in horror; It was her pimp from her previous life as Tats Gumlips, somehow having survived the apocalypse. The pimp explains that he has been searching for Tats and expects her to pay what she owed. Tats, however, drunk on her own power, refuses. She does not realize that, just as in her previous life, the pimp basically decided her fate. After a short battle that was utterly hopeless for Tats, the pimp obliterated her with an almighty pimp-slap. The man was true to his word; After the original was thoroughly destroyed, the rest of the Vagina-Mouths worldwide were instantly killed, as well. The world was saved.
In the final scene of the movie, Tranny Dan raises himself to his feet and thanks the pimp. The pimp looks Tranny Dan over once before saying,
“Boy, you some kinda tranny??”, to which Tranny Dan replies
“Well...yeah.” and promptly gets shot and killed by the pimp, who simply steps over his body and strides into the sunset.
THE END. |
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| | | | Gilgamesh
Age : 20
Joined : 09 Apr 2007
Posts : 5754
Location : Australia
| | Subject: Re: Another fic that makes fun of Dominic Deegan to be ironic. Sun May 20, 2007 10:07 pm | |
| Well, I'm not sure of what to say. Do you actually intend to make these movies? If so, how?
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| | | | Nevrmore
Joined : 21 Apr 2007
Posts : 411
| | Subject: Re: Another fic that makes fun of Dominic Deegan to be ironic. Sun May 20, 2007 10:10 pm | |
| | You know that new reality show sponsored by Steven Spielberg, where whoever submits the best movie or something gets a $1 million dollar grant to make their own Hollywood style movie? |
| | | | Gilgamesh
Age : 20
Joined : 09 Apr 2007
Posts : 5754
Location : Australia
| | Subject: Re: Another fic that makes fun of Dominic Deegan to be ironic. Sun May 20, 2007 10:12 pm | |
| | Nevrmore wrote: | | You know that new reality show sponsored by Steven Spielberg, where whoever submits the best movie or something gets a $1 million dollar grant to make their own Hollywood style movie? |
Hmmmm good luck. Here I was thinking, 'Macromedia Flash.'
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| | | | Nevrmore
Joined : 21 Apr 2007
Posts : 411
| | Subject: Re: Another fic that makes fun of Dominic Deegan to be ironic. Sun May 20, 2007 10:15 pm | |
| Ummm, no? Live-action only, baby.
By the way, here's a poster my friend made:
| Spoiler: | | |  |
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| | | | Luke Atmey
Joined : 07 Apr 2007
Posts : 1953
Location : Old Canada, a land which I never shall lampoon.
| | Subject: Re: Another fic that makes fun of Dominic Deegan to be ironic. Sun May 20, 2007 10:16 pm | |
| Classy.
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| | | | Gilgamesh
Age : 20
Joined : 09 Apr 2007
Posts : 5754
Location : Australia
| | Subject: Re: Another fic that makes fun of Dominic Deegan to be ironic. Sun May 20, 2007 10:17 pm | |
| I like the 'In blazing technicolor' bit.
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| | | | Nevrmore
Joined : 21 Apr 2007
Posts : 411
| | Subject: Re: Another fic that makes fun of Dominic Deegan to be ironic. Sun May 20, 2007 10:20 pm | |
| | The only way to render a carnivorous, snarling vagina is in blazing technicolor. |
| | | | Thy Brilliance
Age : 22
Joined : 17 May 2007
Posts : 192
Location : Relative
| | Subject: Re: Another fic that makes fun of Dominic Deegan to be ironic. Wed May 23, 2007 6:29 pm | |
| | Good times |
| | | | Fossilized Trilo-Rhea
Joined : 07 Apr 2007
Posts : 767
Location : futeristic reconstructed Paleozoic seas on a distant planet
| | | | | Nevrmore
Joined : 21 Apr 2007
Posts : 411
| | Subject: Re: Another fic that makes fun of Dominic Deegan to be ironic. Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:33 pm | |
| | Lady of Buttsmex Rhea wrote: | | ..........Sometimes I can just never tell how serious you're being. It's quite baffling to me. |
Whatever do you mean? |
| | | | | Another fic that makes fun of Dominic Deegan to be ironic. | |
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