Dominic Deegan Fansite

Subject: Blackhart (story) Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:10 pm

((This is an extended biography about my character Ardent Blackhart. It's a story, so I'm accepting critiques and comments.))

Ardent stood amongst the chaos and bloodshed that he had created. Corpses littered the ground, most dismembered. As always, his large blade stood in the ground, ominously coated on crimson liquid. Ardent reached for his cloak and used it to wipe the blood from the sword.

“Five sins.” He muttered under his breath.

Ardent lifted the sword and uses some force to implant it into the dirt. Reaching up, he unlatched the breastplate, letting it drop to the ground, soon followed by the chainmail underlay. His flesh was pale and scar covered, yet muscular, like that of an athlete.

He knelt down to his chest piece and pulled the small dagger off its panel. Afterwards, he stood, and turned the blade toward himself.

“Five scars.”

The dagger slices into his flesh with ease, yet no blood flows. Eventually, yet another patch of symbols covers the tapestry of pain that is his body. Ardent looks up at the night sky and follows a single shooting star as it streaks silently across the horizon. His face is unemotional, but inside, he can’t help but feel sorrow. The painful memories of his life coming back to him.

It happened often, in truth. Ardent would see his entire life before his eyes. Onlookers would say it took moments, yet the pain of his past lasted for what seemed forever. The Death Knight would cite his unliving state as the reason his memories would flash before him in the way it does dying men.

He could remember it all so vividly, now. Especially the death, as his life was surrounded by the end of others, and eventually, his own.
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Last edited by on Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:17 pm; edited 4 times in total

Subject: Re: Blackhart (story) Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:10 pm

Ardent couldn’t actually remember his childhood, not even when he was alive. He was an orphan, only capable of remembering the point when he awoke in a Callanian cathedral. It was there he was given his name. The high priest gave him the name of a famous holy knight, Ardent Vault. He was only eight years old, but he was raised from that point as a warrior. He was a proud follower of church laws and he was a willing apprentice of the Holy Knights.

For years, he trained in the ways of white magic and the blade. He was trained by a mighty Paladin by the name of Carson Templar. By Ardent’s fourteenth birthday, he was sent on his first quest with Carson, one which eventually doomed him and his loved ones to a horrid fate.

They were sent to investigate a recent attack on a Callanian town. What they found was a cult of the Chosen. The two knights didn’t stand a chance against the cult, and were swiftly surrounded and overpowered. Carson fell in battle, saving Ardent’s life, but the cult was hardly damaged. With his life still in danger, some godly force showed mercy upon him, and fueled his might as he fought, and defeated, the cult.

Upon returning to the cathedral, he was granted full Paladin rank and was renowned from that point on as a knight touched by God. However, his aspects on life were shifted entirely. His respect for life had heightened, and he was no longer willing to kill, even if it was demanded of by the church, instead choosing peaceful alternatives.

However, he found a time when fighting was necessary, and each time, it seemed as though a holy force was guiding him, empowering him to extreme levels. But he didn’t want this life of bloodshed and suffering.

He would give up his holy gift and his status as Paladin for his own gain, as innocent as it seemed. This would be the cause of his death, and the cause of so much suffering to come.
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Subject: Re: Blackhart (story) Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:11 pm

In his many quests, he went all across the Callanian lands, eventually finding a peaceful little town in the mountains. There, he met and fell in love with a young woman by the name of Shalice Tennson, whom he quickly wed. This action went heavily against the church, but the fact didn’t matter to him.

The two lived in the small town, eventually having children. His son, Thomas, and his daughter, Rebecca, were the pride of his existence. Ardent finally found himself happy.

This happiness wouldn’t last, however, and eventually, it would die. One day, while he and his wife were watching their children at play, darkness fell over the town and the scent of death settled.

Ardent hadn’t used his sword or magic for over a decade, and his attempts to fight the source were in vain. A sect of the Chosen, led by a necromancer, known only as Lightslayer, came to their home, tortured, and murdered Ardent’s family. Lightslayer left him to watch, and suffer through the horrible screams of his family.

The heartbroken Ardent put up no resistance, and submitted to his fate. Lightslayer killed him, slowly, but received no gratification. Ardent never screamed, he never showed any emotion. He sat through the pain, and died.
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Last edited by on Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:21 pm; edited 1 time in total

Subject: Re: Blackhart (story) Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:11 pm

Lightslayer took it upon himself to take ultimate revenge on Ardent. He used his power to resurrect him as a Death Knight. He raised him, and put the blight of undeath on his heart, a symbol of the fact he wouldn’t be reunited with is loved ones.

Lightslayer took leave, and disappeared from the face of the earth. The Chosen found and reforged his armor and sword into a set of armor more suitable for an unholy warrior. The now undead Ardent was forced to slaughter innocents for the Chosen, incapable of controlling his actions, but completely aware of his sins.

It took the order to kill a family, a mother, her daughter, and her son, for him to escape the control. As soon as he was capable, he used all his might to turn the Chosen into something not even beginning to resemble a human. After the massacre, Ardent exiled himself into the wilds.

Deep in the wilderness, he repented his sins by carving thousands of holy symbols into his flesh. He even went so far as to rip his heart from his body. For over a year, he awaited guidance from God, praying constantly that he would not be forgotten. After all that time, without so much as a single sign, he realized he had done this to himself. That his actions had destroyed his chances for redemption.

Ardent gave up his life as a bringer of justice. Instead, he focused his power on vengeance, especially on his quest to kill the one known as Lightslayer. All the love in his heart was gone. All that remained was a monstrosity demanding death, and slaying evil. When the church heard of his return, they struck his name from the records, and banned any telling of his stories.

He had witnessed firsthand the church's obsession with destroying his legacy. They were sending Paladins, now, seeking to end his existence for reasons he didn’t quite understand. These attacks were a foul thing, at that, as Ardent could not defend against them.

Despite his power, he refused to kill innocents, and he could never harm a holy person.
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Last edited by on Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:24 pm; edited 2 times in total

Subject: Re: Blackhart (story) Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:11 pm

Ardent spent the years up to this point wandering the world, fighting evil and laying down his own form of law. His actions often clashed with other good forces, and because of this, he had no allies. He continued to be alone.

And so Ardent stood amidst the encampment. In the distance, he could see the sun rising to fight back the darkness of night. He always felt a soothing comfort from the sunrise. He held a kinship with the heavenly force, both in their relentless battle against darkness, and their loneliness.

Both would keep fighting, but neither could ever know happiness.
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Subject: Re: Blackhart (story) Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:26 pm

((I finished all my ninja edits. If you've just read through these posts and just got to this, you may want to skim back through them.))
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The Man Without a Rank Joined : 13 Oct 2007 Posts : 2247

A good story. Touches on all the major points of RP lore; orphaned, married, family killed before his eyes- A good read.

Only rebuke is that some of it is a bit cliched, but the only reason cliches become cliches is that they're very good.
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Subject: Re: Blackhart (story) Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:46 pm

((I tend to stick with the cliched antihero/antivillain archtype. Makes for the best characters, in my opinion.

I definately went with a medieval Punisher type thing, here.))
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Subject: Re: Blackhart (story) Mon Jan 28, 2008 11:22 am

((I'd like to point out my second character in the sticky thread. I furthered the cliche by making Ardent's daughter secretly survive, train as a Paladin, and attempt to get revenge on her 'evil' father.))
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