Dominic Deegan Fansite
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Marsco
I Saw The Sign
Age : 19
Joined : 07 Dec 2007
Posts : 2211
Location : 19 miles outside the windy city
|  Subject: Re: Moustaches  Fri Apr 04, 2008 11:58 am | |
| 7TH PLACE:
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by
the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
6TH PLACE:
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman
apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he
was trying to steal his neighbor’s hubcaps.
5TH PLACE:
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he
had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the
automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage
door to open. Worse, he couldn’t re-enter the house because the door
connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut.
Forced to sit for eight, count ‘em, EIGHT, days on a case of Pepsi and a
large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner’s insurance company
claiming undue mental Anguish.
Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000
for his anguish.
4TH PLACE:
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock , Arkansas , garnered 4th Place in the
Stella’s when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being
bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor’s beagle - even though the
beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. Williams did not get as
much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been
provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the
fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.
3RD PLACE:
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a
Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled
soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the
floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier
during an argument.
2ND PLACE:
Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a
nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor,
knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak
through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury
said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah,
plus dental expenses.
1ST PLACE:
This year’s runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv
Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.
On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on
to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
driver’s seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a
sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and
overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in
the owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually leave the driver’s seat while
the cruise control was set.
The Oklahoma jury awarded her $1,750,000 PLUS
a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manual as a result of this suit. |
|   | | Oblivion
Magicite Madman
Age : 23
Joined : 17 Sep 2007
Posts : 1970
Location : A Mighty Fine Shindig
| | Subject: Re: Moustaches Fri Apr 04, 2008 12:04 pm | |
| HUMAN BEINGS ARE IDIOTS
THE ONES WE PUT IN OUR JURIES ARE EVEN WORSE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHLKSJGLKHDGHSJKLDHGNF>D<M>FNHDLS:IYKHB>D<KJLFKH:KGHVBNM!VC!M<B>JHKL:FGIUKJB<MFNK>HV!<M~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_________________
Boris: "Oh I love it! UNKNOWN MAGIC! Let's go stick our heads in it, guys! OH COME ON!!."
| Spoiler: | | | 
HM #32, #34 |
|
| | | | James Draegun
The Re-Animator
Age : 19
Joined : 18 Mar 2008
Posts : 1713
| | Subject: Re: Moustaches Fri Apr 04, 2008 12:26 pm | |
| | Oblivion wrote: | HUMAN BEINGS ARE IDIOTS
THE ONES WE PUT IN OUR JURIES ARE EVEN WORSE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHLKSJGLKHDGHSJKLDHGNF>D<M>FNHDLS:IYKHB>D<KJLFKH:KGHVBNM!VC!M<B>JHKL:FGIUKJB<MFNK>HV!<M~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
This is why more than ever we need a hero of the law, and that man is:
| Spoiler: | | |  |
Also, for those who've seen the recent PW funny video Geese Attorny:
| Spoiler: | | | 
Oh, I just created these myself, btw. I love motivator pics, heh.
 |
_________________
| Spoiler: | | |   |
| James Draegun wrote: | | Look, lets get it straight, I'll probably mis-quote you, whoever you are, and no matter what you say, I'll find something pervy or just plain wrong with it. For that is the way of Rhindillisms |
|
| | | | MessiahForHire
Mischief and Mayhem
Joined : 10 Oct 2007
Posts : 3228
Location : Tal Verrar
| | Subject: Re: Moustaches Fri Apr 04, 2008 12:26 pm | |
| | Oblivion wrote: | HUMAN BEINGS ARE IDIOTS
THE ONES WE PUT IN OUR JURIES ARE EVEN WORSE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHLKSJGLKHDGHSJKLDHGNF>D<M>FNHDLS:IYKHB>D<KJLFKH:KGHVBNM!VC!M<B>JHKL:FGIUKJB<MFNK>HV!<M~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
A major second there.
...I actually have this pack of small Mastercraft screwdriver things (they're not actual screwdrivers, they're just the heads on little metal handles) at my house, and on the label that is no longer there, I found the most retarted warning ever. "Do not insert into end of penis" or something similar. Honestly, who does that?
_________________
| Penguin wrote: | | BOW TO LEAPER MESSIAH! |
| Spoiler: | | |  |
BEHOLD MY FURY!
*insert evil laugh here*
| Spoiler: | | |  |
| An Insane Scientist in Mass Effect wrote: | | They come toward you if you look at them. Have to look away. Keep moving and they can't steal your mouth. |
|
| | | | BladedFalcon
Professional Blade-For-Hire
Age : 20
Joined : 27 Feb 2008
Posts : 5452
Location : Mexico
| | Subject: Re: Moustaches Fri Apr 04, 2008 12:53 pm | |
| | Oblivion wrote: | HUMAN BEINGS ARE IDIOTS
THE ONES WE PUT IN OUR JURIES ARE EVEN WORSE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHLKSJGLKHDGHSJKLDHGNF>D<M>FNHDLS:IYKHB>D<KJLFKH:KGHVBNM!VC!M<B>JHKL:FGIUKJB<MFNK>HV!<M~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
This is the most correct statement i have heard i a while... and then they say that the average person has an I.Q. of 100 - 110... yeeaah....
Honestly, the standards in the U.S. are so low that no wonder idiots like those get away for those things...
_________________
Hell Hath no fury like a woman you really shouldn't have slept with.
|
| | | | Marsco
I Saw The Sign
Age : 19
Joined : 07 Dec 2007
Posts : 2211
Location : 19 miles outside the windy city
| | Subject: Re: Moustaches Fri Apr 04, 2008 1:10 pm | |
| | Yeaaah...the IQ test has no bearing on this whatsoever >.> |
| | | | Drouth
Forum Espada
Age : 16
Joined : 16 Mar 2008
Posts : 438
| | Subject: Re: Moustaches Fri Apr 04, 2008 1:20 pm | |
| | Oblivion wrote: | HUMAN BEINGS ARE IDIOTS
THE ONES WE PUT IN OUR JURIES ARE EVEN WORSE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHLKSJGLKHDGHSJKLDHGNF>D<M>FNHDLS:IYKHB>D<KJLFKH:KGHVBNM!VC!M<B>JHKL:FGIUKJB<MFNK>HV!<M~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Kill them all! You'll be thanked for it.
_________________
 |
| | | | BladedFalcon
Professional Blade-For-Hire
Age : 20
Joined : 27 Feb 2008
Posts : 5452
Location : Mexico
| | Subject: Re: Moustaches Fri Apr 04, 2008 1:30 pm | |
| | Marsco wrote: | | Yeaaah...the IQ test has no bearing on this whatsoever >.> |
Um, it actually does, this and many other "common" behaviours proves my statement that most people are, sadly, stupid, therefore, their I.Q. is below of what could be considered average, that is why i brought it up.
_________________
Hell Hath no fury like a woman you really shouldn't have slept with.
|
| | | | Marsco
I Saw The Sign
Age : 19
Joined : 07 Dec 2007
Posts : 2211
Location : 19 miles outside the windy city
| | Subject: Re: Moustaches Fri Apr 04, 2008 1:36 pm | |
| | Nope you're wrong again. Go read up on how the IQ test works. |
| | | | Ark
S Ranked
Age : 18
Joined : 22 Jan 2008
Posts : 3774
Location : Ontario,Canada
| | Subject: Re: Moustaches Fri Apr 04, 2008 1:39 pm | |
| | Marsco wrote: | 7TH PLACE:
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by
the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
6TH PLACE:
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman
apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he
was trying to steal his neighbor’s hubcaps.
5TH PLACE:
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he
had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the
automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage
door to open. Worse, he couldn’t re-enter the house because the door
connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut.
Forced to sit for eight, count ‘em, EIGHT, days on a case of Pepsi and a
large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner’s insurance company
claiming undue mental Anguish.
Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000
for his anguish.
4TH PLACE:
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock , Arkansas , garnered 4th Place in the
Stella’s when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being
bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor’s beagle - even though the
beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. Williams did not get as
much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been
provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the
fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.
3RD PLACE:
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a
Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled
soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the
floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier
during an argument.
2ND PLACE:
Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a
nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor,
knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak
through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury
said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah,
plus dental expenses.
1ST PLACE:
This year’s runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv
Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.
On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on
to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
driver’s seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a
sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and
overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in
the owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually leave the driver’s seat while
the cruise control was set.
The Oklahoma jury awarded her $1,750,000 PLUS
a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manual as a result of this suit. |
_________________
"The only way to settle this dispute between two gods is with a pie-eating contest!!!" - Elan
|
| | | | Gilgamesh
Age : 20
Joined : 09 Apr 2007
Posts : 4922
Location : Australia
| | Subject: Re: Moustaches Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:51 pm | |
| | Ark wrote: | | Marsco wrote: | 7TH PLACE:
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by
the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
6TH PLACE:
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman
apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he
was trying to steal his neighbor’s hubcaps.
5TH PLACE:
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he
had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the
automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage
door to open. Worse, he couldn’t re-enter the house because the door
connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut.
Forced to sit for eight, count ‘em, EIGHT, days on a case of Pepsi and a
large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner’s insurance company
claiming undue mental Anguish.
Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000
for his anguish.
4TH PLACE:
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock , Arkansas , garnered 4th Place in the
Stella’s when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being
bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor’s beagle - even though the
beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. Williams did not get as
much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been
provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the
fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.
3RD PLACE:
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a
Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled
soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the
floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier
during an argument.
2ND PLACE:
Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a
nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor,
knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak
through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury
said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah,
plus dental expenses.
1ST PLACE:
This year’s runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv
Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.
On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on
to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
driver’s seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a
sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and
overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in
the owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually leave the driver’s seat while
the cruise control was set.
The Oklahoma jury awarded her $1,750,000 PLUS
a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manual as a result of this suit. |
|
My thoughts exactly.
_________________
You're about to die. Scream if you must. |
| | | | 2.72
Joined : 06 Nov 2007
Posts : 713
| | Subject: Re: Moustaches Fri Apr 04, 2008 8:03 pm | |
| | I love humans. We are all such brilliant creatures. |
| | | | BladedFalcon
Professional Blade-For-Hire
Age : 20
Joined : 27 Feb 2008
Posts : 5452
Location : Mexico
| | Subject: Re: Moustaches Fri Apr 04, 2008 8:55 pm | |
| | 2.72 wrote: | | I love humans. We are all such brilliant creatures. |
Gotta love the sarcasm... it is sarcasm.. right?... riiiight???
_________________
Hell Hath no fury like a woman you really shouldn't have slept with.
|
| | | | MessiahForHire
Mischief and Mayhem
Joined : 10 Oct 2007
Posts : 3228
Location : Tal Verrar
| | Subject: Re: Moustaches Fri Apr 04, 2008 9:26 pm | |
| Of course not.
_________________
| Penguin wrote: | | BOW TO LEAPER MESSIAH! |
| Spoiler: | | | |
BEHOLD MY FURY!
*insert evil laugh here*
| Spoiler: | | | |
| An Insane Scientist in Mass Effect wrote: | | They come toward you if you look at them. Have to look away. Keep moving and they can't steal your mouth. |
|
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